anything

i stood alone at the end of the road,
with nothing but regret as my heaviest load,
i watch the neon lights brighten the seas,
threatening to wake the dearly deceased.
it's been more than a day since you've gone away,
since the price i've paid on that fateful day.
truthfully i've never been so alone,
only you come to mind when i stare at the phone.

i know it's my fault and i've made a mistake,
and the aftermath is just too much to take.
i pushed you away when i needed you most,
you were an angel offering heaven to an ungrateful ghost.
i promise you, i never meant to commit such scheme,
my longing for you was just too extreme.
i swear to you, i never meant to act that way,
knowing you'd never come but you did anyway.

the outcome was worse than a bullet and a gun,
and i sat alone thinking of what i've done,
the remorse is too much, i cannot breathe.
the absence of your touch, it kills me beneath.
the demons held and ripped off my angel wings,
and coiled the feathers like wedding rings,
i know i deserved it, because without thee,
misery, me and the darkness makes three.

in the ashes of the wake of my final mistake,
i'll take the heartbreak for your happiness' sake.
when i see your face, it makes me glow,
but now you're happier without me i know.
now that you're gone and i'm all alone,
i have no choice but to carry on.
even with broken wings and a path to find,
i swear it won't stop me from looking behind.

when i see you smile, it makes me whole,
the secret ingredient for my heart and soul.
when i see you laugh, i break in half,
knowing very well that i can't get enough.
as long as you're happy, it'll make my day,
knowing you're complete in every way.
as long as you're safe, i'll make it through,
aware that all i want is the best for you.

dreams are meant to materialize,
but i'd sacrifice mine for yours to rise.
i know i can't be there for you anymore,
but i'll always watch over you forevermore.
and so i alone shall wander away,
into the unknown realm where i'll start to decay.
i don't know if i can make it through the pain,
but when the time is right, we'll be together again.

-Iskandar Tajuden.

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