eternal happiness?

everything is so messed up lately.
this month of may, is not a good month for me.
everything is falling apart.
everything is juggling up & down.
& i cant grab a hold onto it.
im crawling, trying my best to give out the best i could,
but, i just..cant.
there's always something blocking my way.
im facing peer pressure recently.
i cried myself to sleep every now & then.

there's too many things to handle.
& im doing it all alone.
i pretended to be happy sometimes,
fake a smile, fake a laugh,
but then, when im alone,
in my room,
i cried my heart out.
there's too much pain.
im suffering inside.

there's one part in me,
screaming, trying to go out. to speak to the world how she feels.
& there's one part in me,
trying to hold on, as long as she can, to be 'strong' & 'mature'.
& there's one part in me,
once think, she wanna put an end to all this, maybe forever.

i need help, but no one seemed to care.
i need strength, but no one seemed to bother.
i need love & guidance, but everyone is so busy with their own life.

God, gimme strength, so that i can be stronger.
God, gimme some clues, so that i wont make the wrong decision.
God, gimme some light, so that i wont be in the dark.
God, gimme your love, so that i know, someone loves me.
God, gimme everything, so that i wont feel empty.

life is so hard nowadays.
i really hope i can survive. :|

No comments